


Mister Shelton

by Shadow7



Category: Blake Shelton (Musician), Gwen Stefani - Fandom, Shefani
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2018-12-05 03:10:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11569068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow7/pseuds/Shadow7
Summary: I'm a masochist I know. I just can't seem to get this idea OFF my head so here it is. I took inspiration from one of my favorite shows ever SCANDAL!! (ITS LAST SEASON!!! NOOOOOOO)Not gonna be as dramatic as the show and this will be based mostly in flashback with no time line perfectly designed, I read a fic like this once and I loved it. That said, I hope you enjoy this first snip of the story.I won't be updating this quickly, I'm trying to finish The Bodyguard but I'm a bit stuck. So wish me luck!In advance, I had to write a few changes to US rules... You'll see in this and the next updates. I'm no expert and this is fiction...just to you know xDHope you all enjoy this!Love kuddos and comments to keep going.Any idea you want me to bring leave it here, I'll do my best to write it! THANK YOU ALL!





	1. Tombstone

There I was, like every month, sitting across the large tombstone, sunflower in hand, broken hearted, watered eyes, reliving those times that will never come back, from the second my eyes set on her to the second our paths crossed for the last time, when she took her last breath as she laid limb on my arms and her beautiful chocolate eyes closed forever. The pain was still there.

The tombstone always had a beautiful arrange of flowers surrounding it, the boys always had it for her, it was a full display of beautiful colors from the darkness of the purple to the brightness of her favorite shade of red, displaying the realness and hard beauty of the life she had.

It had been fifteen years since we met and I felt like I had lived a full life after her death, I hadn’t completely recovered and that’s my secret, our relationship is my secret, my biggest strength, and my biggest pain. The cameras take my pictures, I smile, I talk about the future, about my kids, I talk about life and talk about death, but I never talk about her, ever.

_-Sir. It’s time-_ I heard the gravelly voice of my bodyguard coming behind me. He’s one of the few people who know, who has seen me cry and who knows how painful every 12 of every month actually is.

I stood up, looked down and kneeled down in front of where her body was resting, laying the single sunflower on top of it. I stood up and turned around to find a couple of brown eyes looking at me, confused.

_-It’s you. Who leaves my mom the sunflower, every month-_

_-Yeah. I’m… I knew her-_

_-She knew lots of people, and none of them leaves monthly flowers on her tombstone-_  The now, young man was looking at me, pained and confused. She didn’t die on the 12th but it was our day.

_-I knew her very well, son. That’s all you’re gonna get from me-_

_-So you know who I am-_

_-I do. I recognized you. Your mom talked a lot about you three, she was very proud of what you had become. I’m sure she still is-_

I stood there looking at him, the shape of his face, the brown of his eyes and the cheeks, the way he was standing and even the color of his dyed hair reminded me of her, her strength, her love for art and music. It took me back to the first time I met her.

 

June 2014

_-What are we doing here? Adam, it’s my birthday…can we at least do something that I want to do-_

_-No, because you don’t know what you want to do. Listen, your life is gonna change dramatically by the end of this year and…-_

_-If I win…-_

_-You’re gonna win, we all know that. But, this day next year, you won’t be yourself, ever again… you won’t even be alone inside the bathroom and I’m here to show you the beauty of real life until you lose it all-_

_-So, you brought me to a bar…-_

_-I brought you to a bar that has karaoke and that has artist popping every once I awhile-_ He smiled like an idiot. I have known Adam since I was 7 years old and my mom had asked me to ask the baker if he was going to make that chocolate bread that we all loved, later In the day and if so, how much was going to be. I remember getting off the car and walking up to him – shaking like a leaf-, right after my mom had assured me she was going to be looking at me the whole time, I was terrified of this big city and its lights and its noises and people, I was a boy from Oklahoma, now living in the southern LA, because of my mom’s job.  Here people were louder, meaner, colder and made fun of me, so I hated it. Have been living there for three months and still had no friends either I wanted to have them, I was the chubby kid with glasses from Oklahoma who nobody understood.

_-Excuse me, sir-_  I said a little too soft for me to hear. I turned my head to my mom and she just moved her hand asking me to do it again. – _Sir, Hello-_

_-Well, hello, son! What can I do for you?-_

_-I’m… I was wondering if you’re gonna make some chocolate bread and if so, how much will be-_

_-Well, because I really like your accent, I’m gonna make it. Two dollars the piece, son. Go and tell your momma, it’ll be done around 4 pm-_

_-Thank you, sir-_

_-Don’t worry, son. Speak loudly, though. Like a man-_ He walked away, not without waving at my mom, and as I was turning around I heard another voice, higher pitched.

_-Hi, you’re Blake. Right? The new kid-_ This black haired boy, long and lean was leaning against the counter. I have seen him at school, but couldn’t place his name

_-Yeah… I am-_

_-We go to the same school. I’m Adam-_

_-Hi, Adam-_

_-You speak funny like you are chewing gum the whole time and you look different too-_ I felt my breath getting caught in my throat and instead of tears and shyness, I felt anger.

_-You look different too. Nobody’s hair is that long, it makes you look like a girl-_

_-Yeah, well… your dimples make you look like a … doll-_

_-I prefer a doll than a girl-_

_-You sure? You look stupid-_

_-You look stupid-_

_-No, you do-_

_-You do-_

- _You’re funny… Wanna sit with me at lunch tomorrow?-_

_-Ok-_

That was it, and that defined our relationship perfectly, we fucked with each other but nobody else fucked with us, we were a team, for life, especially since Richie died. We were always together, the separation between us reduced to a couple of weeks each summer and maybe one on Christmas time, the rest of the time, we were together. We got girlfriends so we could double date and then dumped because we couldn’t take anything seriously when we were together and we were always together, we were –still are- a package deal. We have shaved the first time together on his house because his dad had bought a shit ton of razors, a number of cuts on our face was hilarious for our families and still a story they tell. We had gotten batshit drunk together for the first time – black out nights and waking up naked in the stairs-, we had cleaned each other’s vomit, we had cried, we had loved, we had lived together, we were each other’s best man and best friends for over three decades. We survived our college separation and his big tours, we would travel to see the other anywhere and everywhere, I had been there when his brother came out of the closet and his family flipped out and he drove twenty hours to my dad’s funeral. He was it. We were it.

_-Who’s coming?-_

_-Come here! Listen, we are entering from the back, we don’t want you pristine reputation to be shattered, so… move!_ \- He jumped out of the car and headed to the door

_-Adam! Damn it-_

We entered the club, they were waiting for us, a small table at the end of the place, far from the people but close from the stage. We sat, we ordered drinks and I tried to get information out of him, failing miserably.

When the lights went down, the whole place hummed with excitement and then a bright light and the sexiest women I have ever seen came out from the curtains, blond bleach hair, wavy, red lipstick, boyish outfit, exposed abs and neck had me going crazy. Gwen Stefani.

_-Oh, My God-_

-I knew you were gonna love it- I have had a crush on her since Adam and I traveled to New York to some horrible show he had with his band and we caught a glimpse of a new band in town playing at Rockefeller Center one Christmas afternoon. They were amazing. Needless to say, Adam understood how bad his band was after hearing No Doubt for the first time at only 14 years old. Since then, we have gone to two concerts, bought some interesting album and magazines and on a drunken college night, we bought a real life size poster of the band. Didn’t matter she was over five years older, her persona was perfect and from the way she bit her lip to the way she sways her hips, she was perfection.

_-I love you, Adam-_ I couldn’t take my eyes off of her

_-I know, enjoy the show-_

It was amazing, everyone was singing and dancing, she walked into the crowd, sang with a couple of men, flirted her way out of an uncomfortable hug and was as perfect as she was over a decade ago.

_-So here’s the situation, this is my last song-_ Everyone booed at the statement. – _I know, I know… but someone asked me to sing a particular song, a song I haven’t sung before, and this is a country song. I know –weird- but apparently it’s someone’s birthday and his best friend asked me to sing it, so here it is-_ I felt my heart stop and then wiped my head at Adam who looked at me with a naughty smile.

And I heard Gwen freaking Stefani singing Country Boy Can Survive by Hank Williams Jr, and the second the last note left her mouth, I knew I was completely and utterly in love with her.

We had waited around two hours, waiting for people to leave and enjoying the show of the different artists before the one and only Gwen Stefani, sat at our table right after Adam went to pay the bill.

_-So, you are the birthday boy. I feel honored-_

_-You? I’m a huge fan, mam-_

_-Gwen, please-_

_-Call me Blake, then. You already know Adam, I guess-_

_-Yeah, we are recording a song for his new album-_

_-He told me, yeah-_ I was taking her in. taking deep breaths and trying hard not to stare _-Thank you, for the song, it was perfect-_

_-I doubt it was perfect but I guess a good country man never makes a woman feel bad-_

_-Ever. But trust me, it was perfect-_

_-Thank you, Mr. Shelton…-_ Our eyes locked and I smiled. – _Dimples…damn-_

_-Blake, please. The dimples are my best and worst weapon, though-_

_-Really?-_

_-Yeah… it did take me out of trouble but it might have gotten me in a couple-_

_-If you don’t stop, you might get a new one-_ My heart fluttered and I felt the alcohol that I had been consuming for the last three hours hit me on the head like a hammer

_-I’m not sure that all troubles are bad-_ I could not believe I said that and at the same time, I did. I was hot for her, I had a crush on her, and my wife was deep in the back of my mind sleeping because I couldn’t even remember her name nor her face. Her eyes glittered and she took a long sip of the drink in front of her. I took the time to memorize her face, her eyes, her mouth, her hands, even the way her throat moved as she swallowed. I was mesmerized.

_-Oh, you two met. Blake, Gwen, and Gwen, this is Blake. Your biggest fan and future…-_

_-Yeah, yeah, whatever. Leave it in fan and I already told her-_

_-You are humble…-_ She said

_\- I don’t know about humble, I know about bragging-_

_-Humble country boy-_ A man came in and whispered in her ear. She was leaving. – _I have to go, it was great to see you, Adam. I hope I get to see you again, Mr. Shelton-_

 She got up and left after she gave Adam a kiss on the cheek, I felt like I had been punched in the face with a baseball bat.

_-Damn, she perfect-_

_-You’re lovesick-_

April 2030

_-How did you meet my mother?-_

_-Over fifteen years ago. She sang in a bar I was in-_

_-She’s been dead for five years and this is the first time we have talked. We tried to reach the man behind all of this-_ He moved his hands. I had moved a lot of strings and had gotten her a good place for her to rest, maintaining of the place and all.

_-I know. I know. I prefer anonymity-_

_-You’ve been leaving a single sunflower on her grave since the day she died. It’s you who got this place, the security. Why? Nobody has ever told us who were you, nobody-_

_-I loved your mother, Apollo. I did. Dearly-_

March 2015

_-So, how does it feel?-_

_-Weird. It was always my dream and achieving it, it feels weird-_

We were standing on the balcony of the main room of the second floor. Gwen’s hair wild in the air and she looked as good as she did almost a year ago when we met. Her hair was shorter, wavy and arrange in a perfect way that left her neck shine on its own, didn’t need anything else, she had this white dress that looked tight and showed skin on the top but flowed like a princess from her waist down, and she did look like in the middle of a fairy tale and her lips…damn, bright red, tempting my sanity.

_-You’re the first of your kind-_

_-You are too-_

_-No, I’m not. Many singers have been here before-_

_-None of them quite like you-_

_-You’re flirting-_

_-You are too-_

_-Do you flirt a lot?-_

_-Sometimes. Never twice with the same woman-_

_-Should I feel lucky?-_

_-Do you want to feel lucky?-_

_-Sometimes I feel like I should feel it. Most of the time, I don’t feel it-_

_-What do you feel?-_

_-What do you feel?-_

_-Honestly? Trap-_

_-From what?-_

_-From everything and everyone-_

_-I have been there. Sometimes I feel like I’m there-_

_-What are you doing, sir-_

_-Sir? I thought we had agreed on Blake-_

_-I have never called you by your name nor agreed to do it. Besides, that was before…-_

_-Before? What do you mean? Am I different?-_

_-You are. We have established it many times-_ After our first encounter; we had seen each other again – three times- always with Adam there. We, both, have tried our hardest to put whatever happened between us in the past but it was impossible. Our encounters were awkward and filled with unsaid words, touches, and need.

_-I don’t feel it-_

_-I can see it-_ Silence. She was standing against the fence, her hair in the wind, her eyes set on mine, a little pout, a glass in her hand, she looked perfect. I was under a spell, I could feel the adrenaline coming through my system, I couldn’t hear a thing, I swear I could feel her breathing. I moved up to her and stood in front of her.

_-I have never done this before-_ I said, coming clean.

_-Me neither-_

_-I’m not sure I want to-_

_-I had a baby a year ago-_

_-You have three kids, we are both married and I really, really want to kiss you right now-_ I took her face between my hands and stared at her.

- _I … -_

_-Say my name-_ She shook her head and held my jacket in her fists. – _Say it… say my name, sweetheart-_ She looked up and it was like a cord was cut the second the endearment left my mouth.

_-Blake…-_

I growled and closed my eyes, dropping my forehead to hers. I took deep breaths and felt her doing the same, I opened my eyes and her chocolate ones were staring at me, scared, nervous and hot.

I pressed my lips to her lips, there with the wind surrounding us, with the music loudly beaming underneath our feet, the smell of alcohol and fireworks all around us and I could only feel her hands on my neck, her lips moving against mine and the way my body and especially my hand, felt as it traveled up her back.

Her mouth was warm and sweet, I felt it going to my head, it was spinning out of control and I had become addicted, I held her lips in between my teeth and growled when her nails crawled my sides underneath the jacket.

I snuck my tongue inside her mouth and I felt her hands pressing me against her even more, as I devoured her mouth, our breaths were ragged, my hands now on her ass pressing it to me, her hands on my neck and hair as we kept making out, alcohol and need pumping in our veins. I felt my hands traveling towards her hips and down her legs, my hands fisting the dress and pulling it up slowly.

I flipped us from the fence to the wall, and my hands were now on her bare legs, caressing up and down and feeling the heat of her skin. Her hands on my hair pulled her mouth from mine, fighting for air and I took the chance and kissed her neck, licked it and even dared to bite it really light and soft, but enough for her to gasp and arch. The hand on her leg moved to her hip and rested on the naked part of the back of her leg, I felt like a caveman hungry, so fucking hungry it scared me a bit.

_-Blake…-_ She whimpered and I was starving. I took her mouth again, licked and even bite. Somehow I came to my senses and left her mouth, opened my eyes and saw her, eyes closed, head back, lips were swollen and completely naked of the red lipstick she was wearing ten minutes ago.

She opened her eyes, and I knew this was only the beginning.

April 2030

_-Did you love her? I don’t get it-_

_-Someday you will-_

_-Mr. President. Your car is waiting-_

_-Thanks, Luke. It was a pleasure to meet you, Apollo-´_

_-It was an honor to meet you, President Shelton-_

_-Blake, call me Blake. I haven’t been president for five years-_


	2. The Tatoo

****

September 2014

- _Congratulations, buddy. The album sounds amazing-_ I said that to Adam the second he opened the door.

_-Mr. future president. I’m so proud that you decided to join us-_

_-Fuck off-_ I walked in and give him a tight hug. The band had been struggling for a new album for a couple of years and it finally came out, amazingly if I may say so. So proud of him I walked in and the party was in full swing, I saw Behati talking to some people, I saw the band in different places and I followed Adam to his wife and then walked away.

_-Blake-_ Behati’s voice was soothing and sweet, she came up to me and hugged me

_-Hello, gorgeous-_ I said as I hugged her tight against me. _–Congratulations-_ I whispered in her ear. Adam had told me about her pregnancy, six weeks long. At that, she hugged me tighter and kissed my cheek again.

_-Blake, this is Carson Daly-_

_-Nice to meet you, Mr. Senator. It’s an honor-_

_-Please, pleasure is all mine. I do love all the shows you’re in, quite the busy man-_

_-I’m so glad you do and yes, I love to be busy-_

_-Hey, Carson wanna a drink? Here, dude… here’s your shitty one-_ Adam returned and handed me my special mix and I took a sip and did a loud satisfying sound. – _You’re disgusting. I won’t vote for you to be president-_ Carson looked a little stun, he knew Adam and I were friends, he might not know the depth of our friendship

_-You have to… so you can play in my inauguration if I win-_

_-When you win…-_ Behati said nudging my arm, and I just smiled and winked at her

- _I like how that sounds…in that way we could be able to make it at least a bit enjoyable, considering you’re gonna be there-_

The elections were gonna be held on November and I had been working nonstop since March, I never thought a campaign trail could bring me to complete exhaustion but there I was, feeling literally so tired I could barely speak correctly – have been in five different states in the week and my body was feeling it all.

I was working for two, considering my wife was had no interest in campaigning, she was doing half of what the other first lady was doing, and that did hurt a little my numbers but not enough to be down, I was up almost fifteen points in most polls, a healthy number but I had to keep working to keep going and gaining more power. I didn’t have an ultimate support from lots of celebrities like the other guy did, but I touched sensible topics and had a rather central thinking. I’ve had a lot in my favor and after a lot of struggles, it was showing.

_-Come here… My mom is dying to see you-_ Mrs. Levine had always a soft spot for me and I had it for her. My mom and she couldn’t be more different, impossible, my mom was lovely but strict with a sharp tongue, on the other hand, Patsy was sweet and soft as cotton candy, so going from my house to Adam house gave me the best of both worlds.  Patsy was sitting with Mr. Levine on a couch with some other older people and Sam and Liza, two of Adam’s siblings. I had a big crush on her growing up.

_-There you are, honey-_ I walked straight to Patsy and gave her one of my tight hugs and a few kissed on the cheek that made her laugh and slap my chest, all while laughing. I hugged Fred and gave the other Levine children tight hugs as well.

_-Sit, sit. So, can I say that the President of the United States of America used to run naked inside my house when he didn’t want to take a shower?-_

_-We are thinking about a Tell All book, what do you think, toad?-_ Since I moved to LA, Fred always called me that. My obsession with frogs and all kind of animals turned my very nice house in a farm, a farm that almost every kid wanted to go and then every girl wanted to hang with the cute pigs.

_-I love the fact that everyone is counting the chickens before being born… I don’t want to do that-_

_-We all know you’re winning-_  Sam rolled his eyes

_-I heard that the polls look quite good, Mr. Shelton-_ I heard a voice that has been haunting me for the last few months

_-Mrs. Stefani. Good to see you again. I should have expected to see you here, for sure-_ I extended my hand and held hers for a couple of seconds

_-You should. Adam and I are on a quest to conquer the world-_ Gwen was now moving to where Adam and Behati were standing and got her arms around his.

_-Yeah, we are-_ Adam raised their joined arms in victory.

_-Do we count on you, Mr. Shelton?-_ Gwen asked with a flirty tone, and with a guttural laugh that had the hair on my neck and on my arms standing up.

_-To help you conquer the world? What do I win with that?-_

_-That’s the politician talking…huh?-_ Behati laugh.

_-What do you win, B?-_

_-Dresses, pretty dresses and naming our future kids, first of all-_

_-That’s good… really good. But what do I win?-_

_-How about… godfather of my first?-_  Since he told me about the pregnancy, I knew it was coming. We had promised the other that since kids but that didn’t stop my heart getting a little tight.

_-That all? How about joined custody…as long as he or she looks like Behati, I don’t want an ugly baby that looks like you-_

_-Fuck you-_ Everyone laughed.

_-So, Mrs. Stefani…queen of the world? Really? Interested in power and money-_

_-And fame…don’t forget fame-_

_-Didn’t picture it you like one of them…-_

_-Aren’t we all?-_

_-Not sure…I have never been interested in that-_

_-But you’re running for president-_

_-I don’t do that for fame, the money, maybe for the power…to change and to help-_

_-How philanthropic of you-_

_-I wouldn’t go that far…-_

_-Wouldn't you? You’re an Oklahoma senator, that spent lots of time in LA, you might have the cleanest reputation of any other candidate, ever… you know how the city works, you know how the town works- people are going to vote for you… you have the power in your hands, don’t you know?-_

_-No… I don’t. I have lots that I want to do, from education to national security but it isn’t a sure thing-_

_-I read your plan a few weeks ago, I have to admit-_

_-Did you? Like it?-_

_-I can’t say that I didn’t, but I need more from you, Senator-_

_-You should watch the debate next at the end of the month, then… gonna be good-_

_-You know you’re gonna destroy Hunt-_

_-I do...-_

_-Cocky-_

_-Sure of myself…I prefer it that way-_

_-Whatever helps you to sleep at night-_ The soft puns ended with Adam’s laugh.

_-Man, I should have presented you two earlier. I forgot how much you two like to argue-_

Gwen and I stood there, looking at each other, eyes locked.

April 2030

_-Morning, dad-_ I heard a voice as I entered my house a little after noon.

_-Hey, buddy. How are you?-_   It was a mechanic answer. This day, every month was like this. My family knew I was a dead man every 12, but not the reason and they always worked to cheer me up.

_-All good. Did you do your thing?_ \- Since they were little since I met Gwen. They knew that today was our day, today was my lonely day and I wasn’t available. Didn’t matter what happened, every 12 of every month I was away, and since her death, I was in a bad mood.

_-Yeah, all good-_

_-I was thinking about calling Dusty and the boys to have a bit of a pool party. What do you say?-_

_-Good, good. I’ll call uncle Adam-_

_-Cool, cool-_

_-Daddyyy!-_ I heard a scream coming from my left. The princess of the house, our almost sixteen-year-old princess was running at me. This didn’t happen often and sure as hell, whenever it did. I enjoyed it. I gave her a big, teddy bear hug and held her close to me.

_-Hey, baby-_

_-Did, Richie tell you about the pool party-_ She said as I enjoyed her closeness and gave her a few kisses on the cheek

_-Yeah, I was going to call your uncle Adam, right away-_

_-Cool. You feel ok?-_

_-Yeah, I am. I’ll call him and then I’ll help you to move things around after I change. Ok?-_

_-Yeah, ok-_ She hugged me tighter as if she could put my pieces back together and then moved away. I sounded a kiss on her cheek and walked upstairs to my bedroom.

The house was covered in different pastel colors, marble and big, strong furniture, mostly dark colors and dark wood made it comfortable and a nice balance of all four of our personalities – Gwen helped me to decorate. I called Adam first, sitting down in the bed as I took the boots off.

_-Hello? Blake?-_

_-Hey, buddy…So, The kids want to ask you all to come for a pool party today-_

_-Pool party?-_

_-Yeah…-_

_-Today?-_

_-Yeah…-_

_-It’s the 12 th-_

_-I know-_

_-Oh… ok. I’ll tell the kids, they’ll be thrilled-_

_-Yeah. How about we make a barbecue and all? I have some meat here and drinks-_

_-Sure, I’ll bring more… Buddy, you ok? For real?-_

_-It’s the 12 th. I’m never good on the 12th but I’m ok-_

_-Ok. See you soon, be there in an hour or so-_

_-Okay-_

Took off my shirt and my pants, got my swimsuit and got it on, as I did I looked right to the mirror and my face was down, I took a deep breath and my eyes set their sight on my body and I felt the desperate anger building inside my body, I wanted to punch the stupid mirror and –not for the first time- I wanted to hurt someone, anyone, even myself.

_-Hey, dad-_ Richie’s voice came outside the door and took me out of the haze.

_-Open up-_

_-Hey, did you call Uncle Adam?-_

_-Yeah. Let’s make a barbecue and stuff. We have some in the refrigerator and he’ll bring more things too-_

_-Cool, we haven’t done this in so long…-_ He got quiet then. _-I wanted to ask you something, though-_

_-What is it?-_

_-What would you think if I get a tattoo?-_

_-What?-_

_-A tattoo, I mean… Jon has one and he’s obsessed with it-_ Jon was my oldest, twenty-one years old. _\- I’m eighteen, it’s legal…so-_

_-Have you thought about it? What do you want?-_

_-You ok with it?-_

_-I mean, I have three tattoos, it’ll be quite hypocritical of me to say no-_

_-Yeah, but you have said that you regret them-_

_-Only the wire in my arm, not the rest-_ Richie’s eyes set on my rib.

There, there was a medium size sunflower – colorful sunflower- the number 12th in bright yellow in the middle of it, it was a beautiful design.

_-Are you ever gonna tell me about the sunflower on your rib, or the real ones planted on the driveway of the ranch or the GS on the bottom of your back-_

_-Another time, right now…it’s not a good day-_

_-Ok… The 12 th hasn't been good days for years now-_

_-They aren’t good days... not for me-_

_-Just promise me, you’ll tell us… it’s hard to look at you when you look so down and … sad-_ We both got up from the bed, where we were sitting and while he stood on the frame, I stood in front of the mirror.

_-I will and maybe you’ll have a better idea of the importance of choosing a tattoo right. It has to be something that will follow you around, something meaningful and something important-_

_-A sunflower is important?-_  He asked completely confused as he stood right next to me in front of the mirror.

- _More than you could even imagine…-_ My eyes set on the sunflower.

January 13th, 2017

_-I cannot believe you-_ Gwen was sitting on top of me, straddling my middle, she kept tracing the tattoo that rested on the rib. We were both half naked and talking about our past Christmas.

_-Why not? I told you I was going to do it…-_

_-Dude, you got a tattoo-_

_-I know, dude-_  I mocked her and she slapped my chest.

_-That’s wild… wait, what did Miranda say when you told her you were getting one-_ She stopped moving her finger across the tattoo and looked at me.

_-I didn’t. I came home with a tattoo-_ I told her the truth. The truth was our policy and it has been working for almost two years now.

_-Blake…-_

_-Don’t fight with me-_ I flipped us and I was now between her naked legs, holding my body in my arms.  One of the best things that happened aside of the obvious person underneath me, is that the campaign and now the presidency had me working out to maintain myself alive and well…not to sound weird at all but I looked good and Gwen seemed to appreciate the newly discovered muscles.

_-Blake… Miranda is your wife… don’t you think she would ask about it-_

_-She can ask…I’m still not gonna answer. We have a very nice arrangement, she lives her life and I live mine. Just like you and Gavin. I know she has never been completely fateful and as horrible as it sounds, I was ok with that when I married her and now, it’ll be a little… hypocrite of me to complain, you know? Besides, she sleeps in a room, I sleep in another, she’s happy with her First Lady life and I’m so busy I barely see her-_

_-That doesn’t change the fact that… you got a tattoo, for us-_

_-I said this the moment we decided to start our thing and I’ll repeat this till the day I die. You’re the best fucking thing that has ever happened to me in my love life, ever. Nobody, ever, has been able to fill my heart like you do-_

_-Blake…-_

_-Besides, I already have a tattoo, another one isn’t a big deal and at least, this one has a meaning-_

_-You are completely insane, Blake Shelton-_

_-I am for you, Mrs. Stefani-_

_-Did your kids liked the presents?-_

_-Yeah… they were all crazy about the light sabers and Addie went nuts with the dolls. Thanks for helping me with that-_ I kissed her lightly on the lips. _What about yours?-_

_-Well… The drums – I’m regretting a bit- but looking at their happy faces and Gavin’s not so happy, is quite satisfying… just like the skateboard and the puppy-_

_-Yeah…-_ I kissed her neck. – _Sounding toys aren’t a good idea-_

She arched her body and took my mouth in hers, the kiss turned savage quickly like usual and as I held her thighs up to me, she scratched her way up to my back and to the edge of my boxer briefs and I was now licking her neck, like a starving cat.

_-What are you up to, Mr. President?-_

_-Oh, well…Mrs. Stefani. I have lot on the agenda, global warming, gay rights… education bill but what are you craving right now?-_

_-Right now… I crave you-_

_-Aren’t you in luck…I’m available for a meeting. You won’t even have to call my secretary-_ Slowly, I took her mouth again. It was hard and hungry kiss. We haven’t seen each other in a while and I have been craving her taste and the feel of her skin for two weeks.

Pressed her naked curves to my body and her nails held my ass underneath my still clothed crotch, to her. I took advantage of my position and bit her neck softly, feeling her skin rise in goosebumps, her hands slid down my boxers and I pushed them with my feet.

_-Damn it, Blake...-_

_-We finally have a time for ourselves, 24 hours for ourselves, why do you want to rush it-_

_\- Because I want you-_

_-Damn it, woman. You make a good man sin-_

I slid down her body, touching with my lips every part of her body, my teeth grazing, my lips kissing and my tongue licking, I got to her belly button, and went up again, kissed her mouth and snuck a couple of fingers.

_-Blake!-_ She screamed as she held my wrist. I moved my fingers and she arched, even more, her teeth biting her lips uncontrollably and her eyes completely closed. I bit the lip she was holding prisoner with her own teeth and started to move my hand as she convulsed, close to the edge - something that didn’t surprise me after over an hour of groping and kisses in the bed after I arrived at her house.

_-Fuck, fuck, fuck-_

_-That’s it, baby… let it be-_

_-No…harder, more!-_ She arched and I felt her thighs quiver underneath me, her nails clawing my shoulders and sucking on my chest.

I felt her stop breathing and then, like a wave, energy exploded from her body and I would have guessed it broke the house in two because of how it felt… Gwen’s hand on my rib, on top of my tattoo and I could swear I could feel my heartbeat there, where the tip of her finger was. Fuck.This was gonna be a hell of a night. For sure.


	3. There's always sweet because there's sour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**_June 7th , 2030_ **

_-I feel like dying-_

_-I know. I know , buddy...-_

_-Why did she do that? What did I do?-_

_-Nothing... people make decisions we can't understand or even pretend to. It's not your fault-_

_-This is the worst day of my life-_

_-Son , a lot of days are gonna be like this. Diana cheating on you will be nothing when you look back. You're 16, you have all your life ahead to get your heart broken into tiny little pieces...for real-_

_-Do you felt like this when you found that about mom cheating on you?-_

_-It was different... your mom and I had grown apart and weren't in love at the time , neither of us.-_ The kids had known the reasons of their mom and I's divorce when it happened. They had caught her with a guy and hell broke lose. Making me come clean about having a girlfriend too and about knowing Miranda's whereabouts for years-   _I have had a lot of bad days and a lot of great days. The first ones make you understand how lucky you were of having the latter. There aren't good days if you don't know what bad days are. There's always sweet because there's sour. And even though you can't see it now... the sweet things in life are long and steady-_

 

**One Of The Sweet. September 16** **, 2017**

_-Mr. President. How was your night?-_  We had got in the car from the venue we were.

_-Mr. Prime Minister_ _, it’s very good to meet you and thank you for the great reception, it’s been quite amazing-_ We have had quite a concert a few hours ago and a dinner afterward. I have been doing the African tour for a week now and I was exhausted, 9 countries in 7 days are too much for my old ass and I was feeling every minute of it on my shoulders.

_-It’s not any day that the president of the United State comes to Madagascar-_ The prime minister filled the bill, a young man –which happened to be the new rule in leaders, a needed change. He was short and sharp as a tack, he had very easily studied me and had been pushing the right buttons since I got here, I was quite impressed.

_-Well… I have nothings but praises for your beautiful country_ _. This reminded me how much I have missed nature and being outside_ _-_

_-I’m guessing you don’t get a lot of free time either-_ If he only knew… I would wake up at 6 am, exercise and eat before 8 am I was at the office, until 2 when we had lunch and then until 8… no breaks …nothing … unless a special blonde played me a visit.

_-Not at all…and, if I do_ _, I try to get time with my kids…obligatory dinners and Sundays with them-_  I love my Sunday with the kids and I would always find something to do…from putting a tent somewhere in the house to racing or making horrible cakes that could make you vomit.

_-That’s good…a strong family means a strong man-_

_-I agree… my kids are my life-_ And Gwen too

_-Here we almost are, sir. You and all of our guest will be staying in this hotel, your security has already a hold of it and they’ll lead you there-_ I have asked for a low budget one, near nature and clean air… apparently, this had it all and was 5 stars. As a man who enjoys way too much to go out, hunt, sleep outside and pee in the woods….this was perfect.

_-Thank you so much. Not every day you can have a concert like today’s, it was unbelievable… it’s inspiring to meet and find out about cultures and how… it brings us together-_  It had never hit me how little I knew about African culture, until now and it was a bit painful.

_-It’s quite pleasing for us your work on African culture in the US…-_

_-I’m from the south, sir… I know how it goes and it always pained me… my mom raised us to be open and grateful-_ My mom was the most liberal Republican southern lady… I know it’ very weird to understand but…she was. She never really participated in one party but she would consider herself a Republican that didn’t always voted Republican, that stuck with us, her kids.

_-You have shown yourself as that… your support for the African community, the Latin and, LGBTQ_ _community_ _, is inspiring…for us and for your people-_

_-I’m just doing what I promised I would, sir… there’s nothing else-_ I was very clear about what my path was gonna be if I were to be elected and I was, so that’s what I was doing.

_-We thank the American people then…for electing you -_

_-Thank you very much for everything-_

_-Your flight leaves tomorrow at 9 am, your security told us you would be pick up around 8:30-_

I left the car that had brought me and walked to the hotel, only a few feet ahead. I saw Joe and Alex on the steps of the hotel waiting for me. Both nodded and I smiled as they opened the doors for me and we walked to the elevators, waving and shaking everyone’s hands.  I got to the elevator and Joe pressed the 5th floor.

- _The floor is proof, nobody in and nobody out. Only Alex and I will be your security, the stairs and elevators will be taken over by us, so is the roof.-_ We were waiting for the elevator. It was around 9 m, I was exhausted and in pain, my back was killing me again. I had never been interested in the security that I have but this times, I felt my ear perk up door the lack of it.

_-Usually there are agents in my floor…in my room-_ I said, not gonna denied that I felt a little uneasy with the idea of not having them with me in a foreign country. I had a lot of enemies…and well…didn’t wanna die.

_-Not today sir-_ Alex brushed off my statement.

_-Why not?-_ I kept pushing. The elevator had arrived and the three of us entered the room. I laid my body on the wall on the back of it as the two agents stood in front of the doors.

_-We didn’t think it was necessary-_ Joe replied

_-So… my safety isn’t on the top of the list, you mean…-_

_-Your security isn’t a problem sir…-_ Joe said after he shared a weird glance with Alex, they both looked a little too calm, meaning I should be calm. Both of them have been with me the last two years, they have proven to be real and protective of me and my family. I shouldn’t be nervous, should I?

_-So you won’t have people in the floor…well, at least I know how to shoot a gun-_

_-You do sir…and you’re quite good-_ I heard the sarcasm dripping from his voice

_-I might be tired_ , _but the sarcasm hasn’t been lost on me. Why do I feel you two are not being honest…-_

_-This is your floor, sir. We’ll lead you to your room-_

_-Ok…At least you’re gonna do that-_ Alex cut my statement and he walked before me, left me in front of a door and waited for me to get open

_-Try to rest and sleep-_

_-Try? I’m gonna pass out… Tell those assassins that tonight is the night to kill me…I can barely keep my eyes open-_

_-I’ll tell them sir… Careful with the shoulder blades…-_

_-Shoulder blades? What?-_  As I opened the door and walked in, I saw them chuckling and waking away to the elevator. Fuck. Were they serious? About the whole killing thing? Wouldn’t have to take care of my shoulder blades…I slept on my back. They didn’t need to know that.

I walked in and the blackness of the room gave me a feeling of calmness followed by a full anxiety attack, I suddenly felt claustrophobic making take deep breaths. Fuck. Dinner. I hadn’t told them I was starving…I had to call Joe, but first off with the suit. I felt trapped in this shit.

I walked to where I thought the bedroom was supposed to be and saw a dim light coming from it and stupidly, walked to it like I was a teenage blond girl in a bad horror film. My jaw hit the floor when I saw one the reason of my life, laying down across the bed and wearing the most exquisite lingerie that I had even seen, her head came up when she noticed the movement on the corner of her eye.

_-Pick your jaw and come in, Mr. President. I was told you weren’t feeling all that great. I need you to drop everything and lay here…the nasty pain on your neck will be gone in no time at all-_ She said in a honeyed voice that could have easily brought me to my knees.

_-What… How…-_ I couldn’t form a sentence in my head, this one was spinning and my throat was dry.

- _Sir. Please_ \- She walked up to me and started to unbutton my shirt, without leaving my eyes. – _You have been telling me about those horrible pains you have been having from the last couple of days… So… I was able to … fly in-_

_-Shit…You lied to me this afternoon…you weren’t in LA practicing for the concert-_

_-It got postponed last night…meaning…-_ The shirt fell off my arms and her hands went to my pants – _I had to make some calls and pull some strings and… I promised Joe and Alex that I would make them my chocolate and caramel cookies-_

_-They knew…-_ She had undone my pants and were now hanging on my hips. My face fell to hers and our foreheads were touching, eyes locked. I need this, the feeling of her – _Those fuckers…-_

_-Those fuckers as you call them…smuggled me in and are not gonna annoys us until tomorrow at 8 o’clock so I can leave without having to give weird excuses to the Madagascar government-_

_-Fine…they’re no fuckers…now give me a kiss-_ I pulled her head up and she moved to the side, my lips colliding with her cheek.

_-No…-_

_-Gwen…-_ I whined. My 41-year-old self whined.

_-Take everything off and on the bed…go on-_

_-I kinda like it when you boss me around-_ I took off the shoes and the pants, leaving me in my black boxer briefs, which I shed off quickly. I was hard already.

_-Would it be wrong if I ask you to say that so I can record it and show it to Kingston… he’s getting teen-headed-_

_-I could… would have to find a weird answer for his questions, but we can handle it-_ He went to the bed, waiting for instructions. She moved her finger in a circle, telling me to turn around and I did, uncomfortably.

I felt the bed dipping near and felt her move, I swear I could feel her move and breathe if we were in the same room since day 1. I felt her body start moving over me and felt her kneeling down over the bed and over my hips, which I confirmed when I opened my eyes and saw her knee on the bed and on my hand reach.

Her hands went to my pained neck and they were cold and wet, the smell of lavender filled the room. She pressed my neck in that spot where all the tension gets and the groan I let slip from my lips was full of pain, almost making my eyes watered. She worked quickly on my neck and upper back and slowly, I felt it all go away.

Her hands moved to the small of my back, I felt her trace and massage every muscle on my back making all the tension melting away between her hands. I took deep breaths and try to at least move my hands to her legs but all my body had turned into jello. After a few minutes and lots of growls, I turned around and the second I did. I almost died. Gwen was naked on straddling me, her body shining a bit with the oil she had put on me, she was biting her lower lip.

_-So, sir…are you feeling better_?- Her hands traveled down my chest and the closer she gets to my middle, the more my breath quickened.

_-I don’t feel a hundred percent… maybe you could help with that-_ My hands moved to her legs and moved up to her hips, moving her closer to me.

_-Well… when I’m hired, I do all that’s on my hands to help the customer… that’s rule one-_ I could have finished this all with only her voice, but I ground my teeth and took a deep breath when she moved up to me using her hands on my chest to move.

I felt her brush her center with mine and we both left our breaths go, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, I could see her eyes slowly darkening, her nipples looked like rocks and she was, again biting her lip and making me groan because I knew what was coming my way.

I held her hips up and pushed her down to me, used one hand to push me inside of her. I felt my heartbeat on my head as she arched over me, scratched my chest and pushed her self even lower. I got one arm around her hips and pushed up in one long push that got her to fall over me, she bit my chest and I groaned even harder.

Didn’t move for a couple of seconds and then took her leg and pulled her up and down a couple of times to find the rhythm that makes us go crazy, I wanted it slow and steady, when the need was so great that our chest beat as one. Every push was deeper and it took her a few seconds but she moved up and using her hands, she started to rock down on me and my idea of slow and steady was thrown out the window the second she held my shoulders and started to move harder.

I sat down and got her legs around me as we kept moving at a delicious pace that was gonna end everything quite soon, but I believe in second and third dishes. She was starting to move erratically and I took her mouth, for the first time –which seemed a crime-, our breaths and tongues mingled but not fighting but dancing, we never fight, we live, we adjust and we work it. I held her hair in one hand as we kept kissing, moving and grinding.

Her neck snapped back, my face went to her neck –breathing in her essence- when I felt her insides trap me and finish the race for the both of us, and as always, we both won. The rest of the night was followed by another round after we opened the basket with the food she had brought, fry chicken, French fries, and dips. Needless to say that it was one of the best nights I have ever had.

 

_**One Of The Sour - September 12 th, 2025** _

My head had hit the ground again, I felt the blood dripping off my face. I could feel the pain in each of my bones and the soreness of my jaw but I got up again. I could see blurry faces behind the man standing across from me with a broken nose and cuts all over his face. I could feel the heat coming from behind me, more men screaming, waiting to see the blood.

Six months. It’s been six months from the worst day of my life and the anger lingered, the pain lingered and the need to release kept me going to this dungeon to fight until I lost consciousness, a place where names weren’t shared and nights weren’t repeated, only blood and sweat.

I moved up to him again and caught him off guard, dropping two hooks and almost knocking him down, but the 6’3 man was as strong as a tree and in two moves, got my left cheek and my side, making me lose my breath... but you didn’t need to breath when you felt dead on the inside, I got two more punches on him and knocked him out this time. I moved back, breathing in and deep, trying to get oxygen to my cells. The man hadn’t hit the ground, when another one step in and was ready for a fight, I was gonna be fighting new people until I saw black and was dragged across the room unconscious.

The new kid was good, it was his second time in here, he had lasted almost four people but his issue was how cocky he was, so he would give you time to get up instead of keep going, a rookie mistake – Don’t give the enemy a chance to restore his strength- I got him in two hard hooks, but with a kick in the chest, I felt to the ground, hitting my head again, when I was about to get up, I felt hands around my arms, dragging me out of the circle and saw a new guy entering the circle in my place. I couldn’t move correctly and looked down to recognize the tattooed hands on my right arm. Adam.

I felt them laying me on the floor and I closed my eyes when a bright light hit my face.

- _A concussion, probably. He took two hard hits to the floor_ \- Joe’s voice was low and filled with anger.

_-Shit. Blake-_ Carson. I recognized the other voice. I had grown to know and like the funny producer when Adam presented me to him over a decade ago. He was one of the few people that I could talk to and feel free, to say what I wanted and however I wanted.

I felt cold water washing the blood off my face and then I felt the burn on the wounds, probably trying to clean them. I felt ice on my jaw and I could hear the voices but didn’t pay attention.

-Common, let’s get you out of here- I felt hands over me, helping me to stand up. I opened my eyes and saw the dirty floor of the basement, it was wet, probably sweat and blood, I could see my chest covered in bruises highlighted with the water running over them. I felt the drops of water dripping from my face and hair and asked myself how long was gonna take me to die in that ring.

We moved up the stairs, four men helped me and got into one of the SUV parked in the garage. They dropped me there and I laid across the seat, eyes closed.

_-I’ll follow you. Adam and I came in one car-_

I opened my eyes and saw Alex and Carson moving away before Adam got inside the car and kneeled on the ground, while he covered my bruises with ice and wet towels.

_-You’re gonna kill yourself if you keep doing this… is this what you want? Because if so I’ll give you your guns back_ – They had taken away guns and knives from my house and from the ranch the first bad night I had four months ago – _But I’m not cleaning the mess of your blood on the hardwood floors…-_ I could hear his voice cracking and I felt my eyes sting. I felt the wet cloth on my face. – _I can’t even try to comprehend what are you feeling and I know everyone deals with pain differently but… doing everything on your hand to die shouldn’t be an option. You have kids to think about_ , _kids who want to see their dad bruise-less who is able to be alone with them because his friends and family aren’t terrified of him killing himself-_ He sniffled and if my heart were to be whole, it would have tightened and hurt. But it wasn’t, it’s been six months since I died that Wednesday afternoon – _Gwen died six months ago and you dying now is not gonna bring her back, it’s not gonna take the pain of her absence but it sure will bring a lot of pain to your family and friends… I know you don’t see it now and that you’re in a cloud of pain and anger, but you have to step up. You need to step up-_

He let the cold towels on my chest and face. I felt him getting up, leaving the car… and sitting in the co-pilot seat. I let the coldness try to numb the pain, I have tried almost everything to make it and wasn’t able to. Would I ever be able to?


	4. Grieve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of weird things have happened in the last few days... My head is everywhere and sorry for abandoning you guys! This story is a little odd... not something that I would usually write but either way I hope you guys enjoy it ... and don't cry   
> Thanks to everyone...  
> Jo baby.. Here it is xD

_March 2015_

_-Do you believe in grieving?-_ I asked her one day over the phone. We had kissed for the first time a few nights before and after she had declined to pick up any of my calls, I had to almost beg for her to do so… Took a couple of days but she did pick up her phone again... starting our daily night calls

            Ten days earlier…

She opened her eyes, and I knew this was only the beginning.

- _We shouldn’t be doing this_ …- She tried to move away but I only took her lips between mine. Once again I felt the need to cut myself open and get her inside of me, I needed to get her under my skin, I wanted to have claws that would allow me to get her to be with her, every day, all day. The furious need scared me, my need for her was so strong … it actually scared me. I felt her hands pushing me away, I didn’t want to give her the opportunity to run away… I couldn’t make myself do it.

I touched her tongue with mine, I could taste the wine she had before, I could smell her skin and I could enjoy the heat of her body against mine; I was obsessed. I was in need. I felt her nails on my shoulders, the padding of the suit did close to nothing to stop the achy feeling… I was desperate. I pushed her to the wall once again and I felt her arched onto me as her hands went to my hair and her right leg curved around my hip

- _Blake…No. Wait…-_ She moved three steps to the right and looked straight at me. Her hair was a mess, she had beautiful blond locks of hair sticking out in every direction, her lips were swollen, her eyes were shining bright and her dress was a little misplace around the middle… I wanted to rip it off her.

- _What_?- My voice was hoarse, filled with need and I knew how hard it sounded, it was unbelievable that I could sound like that. I guessed that complete and blind lust does that to a man.

- _You’re married… Am… too and … we both have kids. This is not good_ \- I knew it. I could lose it all if somebody walked in if anyone knew I had kissed Gwen Stefani and was thinking the crazy things I was thinking, my career was going to be over, my kids might hate me…and still, my head was buzzing with so much need for her that nothing else mattered in that moment.

She moved to the door and ran away…or that’s why she thought.

 

Ten days later.

- _What got you thinking about grieve_?- Her sweet honeyed voice came through the phone and I clutched it harder

_-My sister asked me something about my brother, it reminded him…And I just started to ask myself if grieve actually helped people, I feel like I either didn’t do it correctly or is bullshit-_

_-Sometimes…for some people if the pain is too deep, maybe you won’t help you heal completely but you’ll be better, time does wonder to the soul. If you haven’t healed yet, maybe you need more time… When did he pass away?-_

_-26 years on November-_

_-Daaamn…-_

_-I don’t know if I’m doing anything wrong or if the pain will ever go away…-_

_-Everyone does grieving differently… it took my mom eight months to stop crying every time she remembered her mom and it’s been five years and my dad get sad every time he talks about grandpa. There’s not like a…book about grieving, you do it how it’s good for you, how it comes naturally… it eventually work out, someday you’ll find that calmness of spirit that only time gives you-_

I took in what she was saying and I just realized that my head wasn’t in Richie anymore but in the way, her voice ran through my veins and came to me. She calmed me down…she helped to think about more than pain

_-I like to hear your voice…-_

_-Mr…-_

_-Blake…It was Blake the other night-_

_-Yes…and remember how it ended?-_

_-Yes…Me, alone and miserable, thinking about the taste of your lips…-_

_-Don’t…-_ She interrupted quickly

_-Ok. Ok… I’ll respect your wishes, I won’t ask if you are wearing that peach perfume that almost drove me nuts while we were kissing… or about your flowery shampoo that had my hands itching to hold your hair-_ I heard a door closing on the other line of the phone.

_-You are definitely not playing fair…-_ Her voice was slightly ragged

_-No, I’m not…-_

_-This is not good…this…shouldn’t be happening-_

_-Ok.-_ I waited for a second _-When can I see you again?-_

_-No… Don’t ask me that-_

_-So what? I should just appear out of nowhere and surprise you?-_

_-No…Mr…-_

_-Blake…-_

_-Blake… I have to go-_

_-I’ll call you tomorrow-_

_-Blake…-_

_-Please, I need to hear your voice-_ I pleaded, I actually did. Even I could hear the need and the overwhelming pain

_-Ok…-_ She whispered after a second in silence, I knew she could hear the need in my voice.

_-Talk to you tomorrow…-_

_-Yes…and…Blake? Heal the way you need to but don’t live in the past-_

The line went dead and I wish I could have felt the way her breath caught in her throat when I said I was going to surprise her… The pain eased with each one of her words, but it was still there.

The thoughts about my brother were always there, 26 years later and my eyes watered every time my mind flew to my times with him, to those summers when we went fishing to Lake Texoma or we went horseback riding on grandpa’s ranch. Richie was the kind of brother you could always count on, he was there whenever you needed him or didn’t, he would sneak me out of the house to go hang out with him and his friend when I was having issues at school. I would spend so much time with him that when he was gone, I realized that I almost didn’t have any friends of my own.

Richie and I spent hours and hours together, we laughed, we ran and we enjoyed our closeness so much it was ridiculous. Everything was great until one night he didn’t return, he didn’t come back…and he never would do it again. It was hard at the begging, and then it became harder and harder while the days passed by. 26 years later, it wasn’t as hard as it was when I was 17 and went on my first date and had nobody to tell me what to do or when I was learning to drive and the only thing on my mind was the drunk driver that took my brother’s life. It didn’t matter how much I wanted to cruise around town… my mind would always go to the last seconds of my brother’s life, did he feel anything? Did he know he was going to die? Did he think about me? It’s been 26 years of grieving…26 years of wondering about him…hurting about him.

 

- _Papaaaa_!- I heard Jon’s voice stopping my train of thoughts and getting me out of my misery. My six-year-old ball of energy busted the door open of the office and ran to me. I held him tight as he tried to escape from my tickles. _–Daaaaaaad-_ I was in the oval, I looked up and I saw Jenny his nanny looking at us, tired but sweet smile on her face- something that didn’t match her uptight high waisted skirt and ugly shirt.

_-What is it? Why are you running around?-_

_-Richie is being annoying again…Sophie is too-_

_-So is Sophie…-_ I corrected him- _Buddy, they are babies, Richie is only three and the princess is barely a year-_

_-I know…but still-_ Jon had taken the big brother role very seriously. He liked being the older one, I remembered when he saw Richie for the first time and the first thing my then three years old said was “ _Mine_ ” in that second, I knew that Jon was going to be an awesome big brother.

_-You’re almost a man…They’re kids. You’re always going to be older and wiser. You need to act the part, so … when they’re annoying just deal with it-_

_-Fine-_ He said as his head landed on the spot between my chest and my shoulder, he cuddled. The heat of his body, her still lingering baby smell and the love his body exuded was the best medicine to deal with my nostalgia. Most of the times I could not help but imagine what my mom must have felt when Richie died. The love I had for my kids was so overwhelming at times and ran so deep that just the idea of not having them around actually hurt, just the thought of it was painful… the reality could easily destroy me.

My mind flew to my mother, Dorothy showed everyone how strong she was… nor the divorce or the dead of her oldest child broke her, she actually got stronger. She learned to work harder with and through the pain, she grew smarter and pulled Endy and me out of the hole we were… She never lets us fall apart.

_-Hey, buddy…How about we both play with them so we can deal with their annoyance…like men do-_ I said. When I became president of the United States, the first thing I told the staff was that my kids were everything and the most important thing in my life, meaning… they could and would get to me anytime it was necessary. They couldn’t walk around the offices nor the oval office unless they were with someone but they had full liberties when it came to the family wing; if you walk into it, you would find toys, dirt, food, and shoes everywhere at any time.

- _Ok_ \- He said and he jumped out of my arms and ran to the doors, that’s when he stopped and turned to me and said. – _Dad! Common, let’s play!-_

I could not help but smile and ran like a child following him, his delight screams were music to my ears. We ran and I saw every single person looking at us, smiling and rolling their eyes because of my silliness; I loved playing it dumb… it was fun to jump and run across the White House with my kids… I’m not ashamed to admit I had crawled a couple of time with both Sophie and Richie.

He ran straight to the stairs and started to climb them like a monkey, I started to climb them two by two, enjoying my 6 foot 5 frame. I caught him with one hand and as I walked us up the stairs, his laughter could be heard all around the big house that was going to be our home for the next 3 years and a half, at least…

Something that I promised myself and my kids was being a present dad even though I was president, my parents got a divorce and even though the hated each other they would hang out for our sake so… if they could make it work, why couldn’t I work it with Miranda who I was still married to even though I hated her?

As I shook him in the air and his laughter infected me I saw a couple of my security men smiling and when I walked into our residency… there were Richie and Sophie playing with some trucks in the middle of the living room, Sophie’s hand could barely hold the truck and Richie was slamming the truck against the floor…yeah, this was the reason I held myself up every single day.


End file.
